So here’s the deal: The Hello Kitty thing?
I’m just. Not. Into. It.
Matter of fact, my aversion to the mouthless creature has steadily swollen—not unlike her head— over the years.
It’s not just because the creature’s a scene-o-type as overplayed as Fall Out Boy’s greatest hits
(ditto, tiaras—leave ‘em to Quinceneras, Scenario Dawson: what do you think this is, 2007?);
nor is it the result of the anti-feminist mentality in which she’s so flagrantly mired
(the fact that she lacks a mouth implies that she has no voice—i.e., it functions as a visual signifier for the notion that females are docile, harmless, submissive and frail);
instead, it’s the sum of aforementioned, and the fact that this seemingly innocuous emblem of corporate consumption has evolved into a full-blown omnipotent presence.
Sure, there are moments in which I feel I’ve become a bitter old queen*, or as if I’m the Grinch of Sanrioville—
though recently I discovered a source of salvation through
I couldn’t help but feel an immediate camaraderie with this Canadian dude who inadvertently spawned his allergy to The Evil Feline by encouraging his wife to pursue a business venture doing something she enjoys.
Whether or not you’re a fan of that critter whose name includes a salutation, I feel it necessary to share this post, as we’e got a serious case of fagswag to analyze here, folks.
The comments tend to veer toward LOLercaust territory, as well. Darlene, a “repeat offender” in the Department of Commentary, is a brilliant construct. Nonetheless, the veracity of her existence is mere conjecture on my part (a fancy way of saying “Hey baby, don’t even try to hate crime me for hinting that any J.T. Leroy action might be goin’ on here. Aiiight?)
Ah, but the best is yet to come! (The Best Awful, that is…) Con’t
Some of the comments
I can’t help but wonder if their obsession with infantile mascots has made their eyes go blank as The Howdy You-Know-Who‘s, since what does our tormented HKH host have posted in the upper right hand corner of his site as the only information listed under “About Me”?
STILL, YET—NOTHING BUT NOTHING PREPARED ME TO FIND THESE ABOMINATIONS WHILE INNOCENTLY TRAIPSING AROUND THE INTERWEBS:
Orange. They’re low-rise, ass-enhancing, clearly aimed at the queerly-inclined consumer… and orange.
Nice, uh, white panel detail around the taint area; doncha think? Now two infinitely appealing options exist for Kitty-Cloneheads of the xy set: the first pair shown, in white—complete with a crimson-colored perineum swatch resembling one who’s been cursed with [AHEM!] a periodical of the monthly nature
The “Take-A-Bite-Out-Of-Mine” Creamsicle Ass-Munchers.
BUT(t), OH NO…THAT’S NOT ALL.
She’s risen from the litter box and focused her attention more DEAD & CENTER, DUDES:
Hello Kitty “Manties”?!
You. Have. Been. Warned.