For information about the form in which this piece was written, please click HERE.
For information about the form in which this piece was written, please click HERE.
[ It’s Nikki. Y’know, Nikki Narcotic . . . Yeah, Well: NIKKI KNOWS. You know?! ]
“I’m sick and fucking tired of all these haters!”
Oh, GL▲SS †33†H :
How you fill my shattered, charcoal-stained heart with glee.
There was a moment — a brief blip on history’s collective monitor, one might say — in which the tiara-adorned Scene Queen had a significant role in the inexplicable phenomenon referred to as “CeWebrity” [ Yes, I know it’s heinous. Do I need to spell every— ]
[ CUT TO ] : a formulaic Wiki How, YouTube Tutorials and Tribute Videos, an on-line ‘zine and social networking community, hubs like Be-Scene.org and Scene Central, a virtual locale for “ladies in waiting” [ no, but really ] and aspiring Scene Kings to — hell, I don’t know…compare quiz scores while waiting to see if their applications for anointment were accepted, I suppose?
As for the new breed? Word of advice. For fuck’s sake, don’t call yourself a “Scene Queen.” [ or king . . . or TS, et cetera ] As in : EVER. I mean, no one should have to spell it out, but It’s. . .down-right. . . humiliating.
Whatever the case, as with Cosmo, The Rules or any other ‘How-To’ Guide : If you really want to
And BE A
My advice? Don’t follow someone else’s checklist.
Bust your own fkn’ move.
Fully admit : there’s some wicked adorable kids among the lot, fantastic explosions of color and creative expression.
image credit : Kesler Tran
However, insofar as Nikki? Deal is : This
amalgamation fictitious character encapsulates the monstrous end of the spectrum, in which rigid Ranking Systems and bratty, entitled behavior is the norm.
C H E C K ± I T :
[ Mmm-hrmm. Yeah, whatever Nikki. Bet your skank-ass extensions you’d troll efagz to see if your asinine antics merit discussion, even. ]
But enough about Nikki — she’s so 2007, I’m surprised she isn’t donning a miniature top hat smothered in Hello Kitty appliques while “modeling” a cupcake, middle finger of her other hand extended in that universal gesture of bad breeding.
What I’m really here to talk about? The Correctness Maximus who immortalized Miss Thing. Namely, GL▲SS †33†H
I’ll go ahead and break it down. Whether or not you realize, what you need in your life is a physical copy of their EP available through Black Bvs Records. Unless, of course, you’re like Andie Walsh and have more pressing issues…In which case, who can blame? Not-so-very-minor, the dilemma. You know, that of
And so it goes, how it goes
Incidentally, Y E S : Another Cyanide-Coated Piece of Perfection, It Is!
Also, out now
through Phantasma Disques :
[ Full disclosure: Even went so far as to pre-order a copy, like the fan girl I’m not. . .usually ]
Additional resources for this band that’s been dominating my Nano as of late :
Well, now. Since I had to back-track and update for a few of you meddling little shits [ “Jay Kay, BB ♥ ILY 4/SRS” ], figured I might as well update you on those Skip-The-Triangles-And-Funny-Symbols, Motherfvckers ; It’s Caps-Lock or GTFO, OK GLASS TEETH
crept up on me like a shadow.
One moment I was in Iowa working with my comrades Dustin and Brian of Novice Industries; the next, rushing to hair and make-up with my pal Aldo o’ the Vento.
Aldo volunteered to assist me with Door Duty for the event, a favor which proved much needed the moment we stepped from what was intended as a brief “helloing” sesh — as pictured below, kicking off the evening with the lovely Jenelle Rensch, graphic design whiz [ and incidentally the mastermind responsible for my CC logo in its final incarnation ], Mssr. Aldo Vento Himselfness, model and co-star in Matthew Mishory’s biopic Delphinum: A Childhood Portrait of Derek Jarman : a beautiful, lyrical portrayal of the phenomenonicon, which is currently winding its way about the international film festival circuit. [ Not that you asked, though as I’m proud for all parties involved…let the record hereby note : the world premiere was 5 September 2009, at the Portobello Film Festival in London. ]
And oh, but oh : from one photograph to the moment that followed, how swift a shift in decorum. Namely, when AnnaLynne and Rachel McCord arrived at the venue, any semblance of order was tossed out the window like a stale copy of Us Weekly.
Image of AnnaLynne McCord and Clint Catalyst courtesy of
Deeply Shallow: One Man’s Adventure in L.A., by Albert Domasin
As rabid 90210 fanatics attempted to claw their way towards the living, breathing version of “Naomi” they recognized from their living rooms, I did my best to sneak the party of pretty-pretties into the inner sanctum : a seated area complete with Goodie Bags [ sponsored by Janome sewing machines, Fiji water, Tarina Tarantino jewelry, Amtrak, Josie Cotton, and Sebastian Hair Care Products ] that lived up to the name — incidentally, the precise locale where soon enough, leather metallic fabric † stitching nipped and tailored † silkscreened paintings † tricked-out hair with neon nets † make-up more surreal than real, and the spirit of unfettered creativity and unapologetic flamboyance would reign.
After all, why was everyone at the Social Club?
The MOST CORRECT runway debut of the retina-shattering, cardiac arrest-inducing atelier extraordinaire Jared Gold‘s latest collection : a collaborative effort with mega-watt visual artist Joshua Petker.
Above : Rockin’ some ‘tude, with pop legend Josie Cotton
A Brief : my first interaction with Mssr. Gold hearkens back to a bleak time in American history. We met shortly after his 2001 debut in Manhattan on September the 10th — an inauspicious moment for anyone to premiere clothing design, as it transpired mere hours before the atrocity known as 9/11.
Eight years have passed in the interim, and still: the creative outpourings of this inimitable virtuoso never cease to amaze.
That being said, it should come as no surprise that for his latest effort — a pairing of superpowers with painter Joshua Petker — my expectations were anything but low.
Pictured above : Petker with photographer Cyn Yen
Per chance you aren’t familiar : Mr. Petker’s art is most God, indeed. Over the span of the last few years, I’ve admired his murky-canvased beauties from afar — so when the opportunity presented itself this Christmas past, I was stoked to make his acquaintance and bear witness to a bit of the brainstorms and dark-clouded creative rumblings between these two masterminds.
All due respect, before I venture into the particulars of the Gold x Petker mash-up, please allow me to praise the work of this inventive gentleman . . .
Up first : two images pilfered from an interview in Fecal Face, a.k.a. the art-blog equivalent of masticating a corpus callosum.
“[Petker’s] work is like that girl you know will destroy you but somehow you just can’t resist.” — Manuel Bello
Entitled “Hunting For Witches,” the painting [ above ] slaughters me, maing…SLAUGHTERS me!
And next, A portrait from Petker’s recent watercolor series [ 2009 ] :
So. Much. Gorgeous!
Fine art from a fine fellow : truly . . . truly.
At any rate, speaking of ‘fine’—there was no shortage of squealing over Twilight‘s hunkasaurus
among the crowd at the Gold versus Petker extravaganza.
Full disclosure: I’ve never seen Twilight , nor have I read any of the books. Said another way? I wasn’t aware Who He Is—but not to worry…it’s not as if frenetic whispering girls and paparazzi flashbulbs going pop! were in short supply.
Short of the long? Mr. Lutz was a complete gentleman: there was none of the “Don’t You Know Who…” routine that’s as played-out as clunky monster boots. (Seriously, kids? Just. Don’t.) Equal parts accessible any coy, Lutz maintained a genteel decorum I often refer to as From The School of ‘Leave-Them-Longing.’
A rare trait in today’s tabloid-congested society, unfortunately. With yellow journalism the norm rather than the exception, these days it’s as if the lump sum of Tinseltown’s silver lining is tinged with rust.
I mean, let’s face it: once one is inundated with images of our ‘stars’ being— well, — as flawed and human as the rest of us? There’s a natural tendency for audience members to be less willing to accept Coleridge’s “Willing Suspension of Disbelief” in terms of an implausible premise.
However, the academic vernacular? Hereby duly noted. (Apologies for the yawnage, please.&.thanks!)
Instead, a shifting of gears to that hotness known as AnnaLynne. As for The CW’s “90210,” I did, in fact, see the two-hour premiere—though can’t say I remember much about the episode other than Cory Kennedy and Mark The Cobra Snake‘s cameo appearance.
*Appearances? I’ve been staring at this blue screen far too long, I’m afraid.
Whatever the case, congrats to the duo—both of whom have graduated from their former status as ‘fixtures’ among L.A.’s nightlife to full-fledged international phenomenons quite successfully.
As for AnnaLynne, her role as Eden Lord in Nip/Tuck’s fifth season was no mere incident of (envision air quotes) scene-stealing; it nabbed the entire season. Seriously? But seriously… Upon discovery of her 2009 win as “Greatest Break-Through Talent” at the Teen Choice Awards, my opine is succinct: well-deserved.
Oh yes…and since this is a city fueled by the mythic power of Celebrity,
pictured here with the Cute-As-They-Come Kim Bruder
More images await “beneath the cut…”
However, since both the event and amount of photos collected –cough!STOLEN cough!–is of epic proportions, I’ve decided to divvy the lot up into three parts: Before The Madness (on which your gaze is fixed at this moment), Petker’s Paintings In Stiletto Pumps (the catwalk-stalking and crowd-gawking), and Dance.Music.Sweat.Romance (the after-party).
That being stated, Please! Click Away– for More Gore Gore Gorgeousness…
for “my best friends I’ve never met”:
“I just wanted to let you know that this is like, the only me… “
“O.K., I don’t photoshop my pictures. I’m just pretty, and you’re probably really ugly.”
:: Stop Stealing My Pictures! ::
*(Had to share these with you guys because
Shit is br00t4l! And uh, yeah…the alliterative name?
Published under it “way before MySpace.”
K4’s trademark symbol is a nice touch touch though, right?)
✮ ✬ ✮
The first clip is by Andrew Bravener;
The second? EffSwap.
Rather than start another blog only to scrap it out of frustration–I’m working on getting my new manuscript together, among other things–I thought it only apropos to share what life has been like for some of my ‘other’ personalities…
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