Snip, Clip, Scan… It’s “Show & Tell” for the 21st Century
October 17, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 6 Comments
O.K., before I have to dial whine-one-one for the waaaahmbulance, please allow me to throw down a disclaimer in hopes that I’ll spare even a single set of phalanges out there clacking terse comments about how I “really need to post this type of information while issues are still on the newsstands…” [ad nauseum, ad nauseum; cue vomitorium]
‘Cause hey—guess what?
I really need to post this shit in a more expeditious manner, man.
Just so happens that–ahem–I might very well have a few issues of my own to deal with. (One of which is the preposition by which the previous sentence just ended, dangling like an unworn pair of silver Les Chiffoniers’ leggings aching for the latest Girl of the Moment to slide into them before dashing out to paint the town bloodshot. It’s as inherent a pairing as Edie Segwick hopped-up on a fistful of whites and having her coiff spray painted Just For The F Of It while donning Balenciaga originials. What other lack of logic explains the perfect sense it makes to purchase what’s essentially a thick pair of pantyhose with a thousand dollar price tag? Not really…but REALLY, babes.)
But oh, that’s but a footnote of damage from a former version of myself in which I worked as a technical writer. A footnote among essays within archives buried deep inside some virtual boneyard we’ll call The Chronicles of the Clintasaurus and opt to visit some other time just dust our hands of it.
.kthanxbai.
At least all this self-aggrandizing material is contained within a single post. Couldn’t give two turds about what ‘they’ might have said about me?
Scroll on; scroll on!
“Does Not Exist.”
What does exist, nonetheless, on the other acrylic claw:
Recent media in which I appear–sometimes but a smidgen; luckier instances full effing-on.
For instance, the following pic and mention in H Magazine is a case of what might be deemed “peripheral press.” Or, to utilize the vernacular of savvy SoCal realtors in sensible shoes: an “adjacent feature.”
And insofar as my image—the look I ‘turned out’* for bits and pieces of my soul to be sacrificed via Glenn’s manipulation of the bulky/beautiful Polaroid Big Shot favored by Warhol himself?
*’turned out’ by no means appropriating cred as if this was my own creation! Au contraire, it was the make-up of Stacey Humell; the cut/color/extensions of scissormeister Irene Urias of Hairroin, Hollywood’s hottest salon (www.hairroinsalon.com), and–excluding the Westwood brooch–another cerebellum-melding, history-making, custom couture creation by the genius Jared Gold
(moving right along…)
Big deal if I’m “giving away too many of my secrets” by sharing this delicious little inside joke—it friggin’ slaughters me how many people took the ‘pomp and pout’ of the picture at face value. I mean, if I’m going to rock an outfit, hair and make-up that ostentatious… how could I not get “in character”?
What ELSE would I do? Smile like a politician and “compassionately” hold a stranger’s baby?
And in the meantime, reword “Let Them Eat Cake” into something more…inclusive…in tone?
yeahRIIIGHT.
It’s like this: one wink or nudge of the elbow during the Polaroid shoot, or Nhat Nguyen’s studio takes thereafter in which I “amped the prance” so high; by foppish standards it was even off-the-charts, or even a single word cluing in ‘The Children’ a la Interwebz? (No worries now: it’s been months… and while it’s a hasty generalization, yes: gnats have better attention spans than they do, for the most part.)
Let’s face the music, sweetcheeks:
Simply wouldn’ta worked.
Art versus Artifice // Appearance versus Reality // Truth Revealed Through a Guise // Everything Is “Real”—Though What Of It Is Lies?
So many motifs swirling around in my head like a majorette’s glitter-fringed baton at half-time…
Yet all of them beg the question, it seems:
Exactly who or what is this ‘Clint Catalyst’ supposed to be, anyway?
And why would it even matter if he (and I) weren’t among the ‘Lucky Ones’ in Flaunt magazine, issue 96?
I’ll tell ya what it was like when I spot-checked the (who cares if it’s a mere thumb-nail sized) pic, standing there, thumbing through the pricey pages in the Echo Park 7-11:
the second I saw my little powder blue top hat (by L.A.’s premier Gothic Cholita, Creepsuela Switchletto: “big ups” to my shiv-wieldin’ glamour sis), I felt a surge of validation sweep over me like the frost-bitten clouds fleeing a freezer behind me as some nameless faceless customer opened then sealed shut the door.
No doubt this earth-shattering, molar-splitting, life-changing moment is fraught with layers of meaning… but c’mon, isn’t everything? (Unless, of course, it’s deconstructed to the bloodless core of nothingness—but that’s so Small-Town-Liberal-Arts-School-Curriculum-For-30K+-A-Year-Of-Make-Believe, I’d rather just ‘keep it real’ and say
Mostest Massive thanks to Photographer Melissa Manning and Flaunt magazine!
Shit you nunca, y’all: that was wickedcool of you, and was “Really Saying Something…”
[Fun.Boy.Three.From.This.One.Here.]
Verbose? Hell yes. I conquer “tl;dr” pussywillows one paragraph at a time—deal with it, or head off for culturally-stimulating activities like an episode of “Cops” or a Budweiser-fueled swirly-go-’round-and-then-down on the Sunset Strip’s Mechanical Bull.
“I.D.G.I,” arseholians. (Said, of course, with the deepest affection…)
Besides: this is kind of like, my diary…yo?
All the same, there’s somethin’ I gotta tell you, though: the printwork I’m most stoked about as of late is a two-page editorial in the latest Lipstick Prophets catalog/magazine.
Here’s one of the images from the spread…
Copies are available through LipstickProphets.com for a scant 2 1/2 bones — and that’s with free shipping and handling, dearlings.
With the American economy in the shitter as it is, at least somebody’s followed my lead regarding “Other Humanitarian Acts That Require Little or No Effort.”
The Clint’s Notes version?
Have passport; will travel. ‘Handling’ is subjective terminology best discussed in lush, exotic locales—and, as with everything else in life, varies from individual to individual (all the while assured that we’re treated equally: It is, after all, the American Way!).
Air Kisses and Ass Kissing,
CC “Giving You” L.A.
in the best of
worst of
ways
(and vice-versa)
Ah: Poor Naja and Audrey…
October 13, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 3 Comments
Rather than start another blog only to scrap it out of frustration–I’m working on getting my new manuscript together, among other things–I thought it only apropos to share what life has been like for some of my ‘other’ personalities…
“Clawz” by Suren from Strange Angel Films
August 10, 2008: “Parties”
August 10, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · Leave a Comment
As a little kid, I remember summer vacations seeming like extended slices of forever…and visits from Santa? Pretty much a lifetime away.
These days, weeks pass in what seems like the time it takes to get my hair done…(then again, I do go for some pretty elaborate shit…)
And you know what else?
My fingernails are still rimmed in a filthy black from the spur-of-the-moment RIT dye job I did on my black Ksubis to make them match my plain black jacket. I’ve been known to have a bit of a conniption fit when my blacks don’t match…and regarding the term “conniption”? I grew up in Arkansas. It’s part of my twisted charm. Just like the obnoxious music some denizen among my cluster of quaint little cottages is playing at the moment, I have three words to offer:
Deal with it.
So anyway, I know a multitude of posts and various commentary have been floating around this dang fanangled internet for quite some time now regarding the Hello Drama! fashion show. Both the harlequin-hopped-up-on-helium make-up (by Michele Monaco) and the outfits themselves were out of my usual “comfort zone.’ But you know what?
I already know what I already know. Ya feel me?
Here’s a backstage shot of me from that night with L.A.’s latest addition, Kaiden Blake:
As an obnoxious Aries (who? Impulsive? Impatient? ME?), it’s no wonder I’m pals with so many relatives among the fire signs—namely, Leos…as it’s their time of astrological reign.
Some nights include hitting up multiple events (which is a luxury problem: Full Disclosure.
Last Friday? Three of us, two birthdays, one night.
Our first stop was a sideshow (s)extravaganza (O.K.: for once, the “(s)” is fully for the lulz. Got it?) being thrown for actress/model Mageina Tovah. Look how damn tan and HEALTHY she looks next to my pasty ol’ spf 30 sunblock self!
And though I feel I look like death’s rectum in this shot, I can’t help but share it because it’s such a flattering photo of Jared:
Besides for appearing in a buttload of movies and T.V. shows, Mageina’s modeled for several Jared Gold fashion shows, as has the star of our next stop:
Lil’ Miss Audrey Kitching of the cotton candy-hued hair, whose shin-dig was a surprise put together by Alyx Suttle and Jessicka, two of her West Coast friends.
with Alyx, who threw the party at her store The Elegant Mess
Jessicka, however, I’d say was anything but a mess. As a matter of fact, this skinny betch pulled of what’s undoubtedly my
Look of the Moment:
Brightly-hued stings of licorice tied together and worn as necklaces? FULLY support it.
Knotted together and worn as an American Apparel-esque headband, however?
DON’T. EVEN. CONSIDER. IT.
Think happy thoughts instead:
Jared, Presenting One Of His Infamous Cakes
need. piece. now.
Justin Coloma and Linda Strawberry Join In The KITCH SANDWICH
With Roxy and B.J., Who Gets The Idea…EDIBLE ACCESSORIES?
That’d be a Hell Yeah!
After We Gnawed On Her Necklaces (Keep It Clean, Kids!)
We Had A Bit Of Fun In The Dressing Room…
Though As With Anything, My Face “Gave It Away…”
When I begin turning, it’s best for everyone that I make “Bye Bye”…and SOON. Kaiden, Jared and I began to make tracks back to his vehicular
But I had one special gift left to give…
The Question Remains:
Fact or fiction?
Kiss Kiss!
Clint
Tarina Tarantino’s Official Barbie Release Party
July 28, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · Leave a Comment
This news is a few days late (frickin’ deadlines…), but July 22, 2008 marks the official date for when I was “BUSTED!” (Busted Daily Dot Com) for my attire at Tarina Tarantino’s official Barbie doll release party. I’m a sicko; I know– but seriously: it fills my heart with glee:
A friend and I have joked that making the “Worst Dressed List” in one of those shit-rags is a lifetime goal—especially since the attire is almost always by my favorite designers—and while the site’s not on glossy pages in a grocery store check-out line, it’s one step closer…
Plus I’m with Maryse, Queen Bitch Supreme of the WWE—who’ss donning full-on retro Barbie look via a make-over by quite likely my FAVORITE designer, Jared Gold.
My pic comes up as #2 of 7… and who else made the list?
Margaret Cho
and Tarina Tarantino,
Two of my favorite people on the planet.
Proof/Pudding.
Riiiight?
Obviously, the site uses the term “Busted!” with a multitude of meanings, as complimentary things are written about both of them in separate areas.
All I have is my name credited, so I’m opting for “BUSTED!” in the worst sense of the word.
O.K., not very worst… but if you get the notion of something being ‘so bad it’s good,’ then I know you know what I mean.
And umm, I need to take it easy on the “naw mean,”
duly noted.
For party pics that aren’t among those on WireImage et al, have fun scroll scroll scrolling below!
The event itself was back on the 17th, but I’ve been smothered beneath a succession of work– hence the tardiness.
Otherwise, here are my “Thank God! I’m Validated!” swiped-and-watermarked:
with the adorable Audrey Kitching and Rich Royal
with Madeline Zima and the phenomenal Tarina Tarantino
(not my best shot — yes, I know)
but
LOOK UPON:
Alfonso Campos, Director and Hubby to Double T
Giddle Partridge, Musician and Proud Owner of Her Own Tarina Barbie
Reyna and Beatrice, Two of the Crew of Hotties at HairroinSalon.com
Kaiden Blake, Kaila Yu, Zachattack and Kit E. Katt (of HelloDrama.net)
Yeah, I Love Me Some ChoMo (Ditto on the Creepsuela Stiletto Mini Top Hats, Obviously…)
Much Admiration and Adoration for This One Here!
SOMEONE is LETTING US *HAVE IT…*
Tarina and WWE Diva Maryse, Enjoying “The Barbie Lifestyle”
Lenora Claire, Self-Proclaimed “Future Cult Icon” Is Hotter Than Her Hair!
Blogature on This Duo (Katt and Kaila of Hello Drama) Coming SOON!
Can’t Forget That Jared Gold and WWE Diva Maryse (Bedecked in a JG Original, Natch)…
Before Any Inappropriate Behavior
In the Dollhouse
Has Begun!
(This blog and the contents herein have not been approved by Mattel. After the accidental ‘Gay Ken’/Cock Ring Necklace mix-up, I do not foresee Barbie having any limp-wristed sidekicks in the near future.
Bitch is still fierce, though. I ain’t hate-crimin’! ♥)
x o x o x
Clintankerous Maximus
Audrey Kitching and Clint Catalyst’s Photo Shoot (Pt 2 of 3)
June 20, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 6 Comments
Short clip from this “second location” of our shoot with Casey Curry– the abandoned and sublime ruins of Salton Sea, CA.
(And no, that is not *snow* on the ground…)
This place is exquisite in its decay.
Lenora Claire TAKES. IT. THERE. (Archived Blogature, Fer Shure!)
June 9, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 2 Comments
“I’m burnin’ up/Burnin’ up for…”
Or at least yesterday, that’s how it was.
Today I’m rockin’ my little window unit for all it’s worth.
Before I gab on about Lenora Claire‘s Birthday Party Last Friday, The Thirteenth
I’ve gotta lay out this sitch…cause seriously? Somethin’ around 24 hours ago?
It seemed as if Dante decided to expound upon the canonized nine, starting with a ‘Tenth Circle’ update just for me and “the 2.0 of it all.”
Yes, we all know about the temperature in L.A.;
Yes it’s a pain-in-the-posterior to hear people complain….
But it was, what? Somewhere in the triple digits yesterday?
and the WALL UNIT HEATER
IN MY LIVING ROOM
WAS ON,
belching out a steady stream of its own furious temperature
to accompany the afternoon’s ‘Greenhouse Effect’
already living up to its name quite well
↓
Note to self: Queer-Bait, HANG UP THOSE EFFING CURTAINS! kthanx.
↑
AND THE [enter expletive of your choice] SIMPLY WOULDN’T TURN OFF.
I felt I’d become an unwilling participant of Bikram Yoga—except I wasn’t chanting and doing back-bends; I was cussing and fanning my tomato-hued face with a copy of V magazine.
Fortunately, I managed to coax a maintenance man to ‘come to my rescue,’ same-day service. But unfortunately? That meant I couldn’t abandon the sweat box to seek solace at a friend’s place, in a coffee shop, or– oh, I don’t know…down the street at “Rough Trade: Sex, Leather and Spurs”?
Jeezish, it just dawned on me how histrionic this post is thus far.
And speaking of HISTRIONICS – -
How about a clip of the incomparable James St. James
to keep the ‘drama quotient’ as high as…
The Houdini Mansion in the Hollywood Hills?
Give it a little look-see, and you’ll find cameos sprinkled throughout of Dirk Mai (whom I’ve been known to refer to as ‘The Artist Formerly Known As Fingers Crossed’,’ among a strand of other nicknames), Wilhemina model Sara Mohr,
and that damn Audrey Kitching.
(I mean, seriously— Who the F does she think she is? SHEESH!)
While I heart Lenora–and no doubt, she’s got a separate fan club for those mams-o-plenty themselves–I was fortunate to be hangin’ at that eldritch abode earlier in the day for a separate matter altogether.
(Hints: TV cameras, a feature ALL ABOUT HER status as a ‘subcultural icon’, and a high-profile European Host. Hrmmm…)
Nonetheless, reality T.V.’s an unpredictable beast (and when it comes to convoluted fine print? Full disclosure that I’m guilty of pulling the ol ‘ TLsemicolonDR myself)– hence, I’m not quite sure what’s verboten and what I can or share with my OVERWHELMING READERSHIP (kidding, guys! RELAX ALREADY) on the interwebz at this juncture in time.
I can, however, share some snapshots sent my way. (Big ups to photographers who don’t just claim they’ll do that shit–they [gasp!] actually *do* it, instead.)
One kind gent–with a painstakingly decorated Polaroid classic in tow, by the way– captured a flashbulb’s worth of my soul in this, a work by Chet B:
Of course, now I wish I would have taken a photo of him with that killer cam (D.I.Y. or die!) — but that would have been the sensible, easy thing to do.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that oftentimes I create obstacles for myself rather than just heading straight to the mark.
So, MARK THIS, Em Effers:
myspace.com/thelbcandlastreetscene
Among your browser bookmarks, natch.
Next up in my rant? (This here is my space, lazy Millennials. You can TL semicolon DR my honky ass!)
Behold the lovely lady on the right, who is none other than Irene Urias of Hairroin Salon. This betch is brilliant, and a major part of the best GLAM SQUAD in town – -
ain’t no doubt about it.
Thanks muches to James Michael Gomez for zappin’ this one at me.
And here’s a genius detail: in case his name isn’t setting off any police sirens in your mam– I mean, memory?
He’s the last person featured in the J.S.J. video clip, sporting one of my all-time favorite fashion accessories.
Shit like that ain’t seasonal;
it’s STREET CRED, straight-up.
Now that summer has descended her scorching UV rays upon us, I truly hope he wears shorts every day and werks the Sweet F.A. outta it.
Proof/Pudding: (Whoever claims LiLo isn’t a trend-setter can squat on down and BITE ME!)
But until then – -
Cruise on by
jamesplayshimself.blogspot.com
(Choice of font hue a little nod to the district,
IfYouKnowWhatIMean.)
Otherwise, I’LL be SEEING YA AROUND –
x o x o x
Gossip Girl, with an extra X
(rating)
on me: Jacket by Jared Gold; miniature top hat by Winter Rosebudd, & a way severe face-beating—complete with lashes—by the incomparable Stacey Hummell with her ‘air-brush from hell…’
UPDATE!
GORGEOUS SLIDE SHOW OF LENORA CLAIRE
(Whom I’d Deem A ‘Fruit-Fly,’ Not ‘Fag-Hag’…
Though Honestly? I Think She’s Too Cool To Care)
(I mean…seriously: This Betch Is On Fiiiiiire!)
INCLUDING THIS CREW O’ NE’ER-DO-WELLs:
(Harumph!)
UP NOW ON LAWEEKLY.COM,
THANKS TO THE LOVELY LINA LECARO.
(Curious to see the other slew of guests? We actually bailed early due to other commitments–
so some of these were a surprise to me, as well!)
And people claim L.A. has no “underground scene.”
How about THIS SEGMENT OF THE POPULATION then, peeps?
Perhaps I’m mistaken, but umm…
I spy not one thread of ‘Abercrombie’ or ‘Juicy.’
et tú?
Color me outta here—
May 12, 2008 — “Black Static Fades; The Focus Returns (Last Weekend: Part Two)” (Archived Blog re: Work Displayed in Warhol Museum)
May 12, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · Leave a Comment
Audrey Kitching and Clint Catalyst’s Photo Shoot (Pt 1 of 3)
May 12, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 10 Comments
Random clips from Audrey and Clint’s photo shoot with the phenomenal Casey Curry at Salton Sea, CA.
May 11, 2008 — “Yearning for A Moment It Seems I Barely Had” (Archived Blog re: Work Displayed in Warhol Museum”)
May 11, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · Leave a Comment
Archived Blogature: Birthday Party, 2008
April 20, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · Leave a Comment
March 23, 2008 — “F-Bomb ‘Andre the Giant!’ JARED GOLD Has a Posse!”
March 23, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · Leave a Comment
Scene Kings & Queens of 2008!
March 1, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 25 Comments
“The #1 Scene Kings & Scene Queens of 2008! Music is Watch Me Move by Fefe Dobson! Alex Evans, Ali Barone, Clint Catalyst, Audrey Kitching, John Hock, Jav Vanek, Kaiden Blake, Zui Suicide, Matthew Lush, Linda Strawberry, Jeffree Star, Kiki Kannibal, Izzy Hilton, Hanna Beth, Chris Crocker, Dakota Rose, scene hair, scene, scene king, scene queen, internet famous, celebrity, popular”
(From the YouTube channel “xMakingAScenex”)
Audrey Kitching, Clint Catalyst, Dirk Mai and…
January 23, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 18 Comments
CHICKEN HEAD! Shot by milliner Ms. Creepsuela Switchletto herself “in medias res.”
“What’s the ‘feel’ for Creepsuela’s line of cravats and top hats?” You ask.
Fkn’ HIGH-END GOTHIC CHOLITA!
Color, cut and extensions by Irene Urias (with assistance from Luis Payne) of Hairroinsalon.com
Make-up by Bella Muerta
Umm, I’m “Kind Of A Big Deal…”
January 1, 2008 by Clint Catalyst · 21 Comments
“‘Big Deal,’ Katastrophe’s music video, is a creative retelling of June 3, 1968, when artist Andy Warhol was shot by the writer Valerie Solanas. In this play on the Warhol Superstar Factory complete with glitter blood, hip-hop artist Katastrophe fills Andy’s shoes and director Hilary Goldberg cameos as Solanas. Shot on Super 8 film with a colorful ensemble cast including Clint Catalyst, Audrey Kitching, and Dirk Mai, Big Deal pays homage to one of the darkest moments in pop culture history. Music by Katastrophe. Directed by Hilary Goldberg. Director of Photography Alison Kelly. Artist Cameos & Cast listed in tags.”
(Video embedded and text taken from YouTube channel “hilarygo”)
Audrey Kitching and Clint Catalyst’s Photo Shoot (Pt 3 of 3)
December 16, 2007 by Clint Catalyst · 5 Comments
Seconds before Clint and Audrey begin jumping in order to create the illusion of “levitating.” No photo shop trickery here, kiddos…
To see the results, check out Buzznet or the gallery section of one of our sites.
Thank You!
