Crack open a fresh can of Crisco; slam-dunk those dentures in a fizz of Polident. It’s about to get real up in here — and by real, I mean really entertaining!

With . . .

Video Documentation, Featuring :

Intro by John D’Amico : 0:09

Steven Reigns : 1:31

Clint Catalyst : 14:47

Bernard Cooper : 30:07

Jonny McGovern : 40:40

Bruce Vilanch : 52:03

Well? It’s not like I made it easy for your slack ass or anything. . .
Go on, BB. C H E C K . T H E . D A M N . T H I N G ! ♥

And since it bears repeating, again : Massive Thanks to Mssr. Reigns, the City of West Hollywood and the One City One Pride Queer Arts Festival.

Appreciate and appreciated!

But I’m not here to make judgment calls. Correction : judgment calls regarding her extra-curricular activities, or — you know. Life in general. Instead, the query that’s a hot tip for me, Mary . . . A cursory glance at her courtroom attire, and I have to ask : Does she not have any queer friends? Or even white-washed WeHo GHEYS, for that matter?

‘Cause if so, whatever shady phag let her out of the house wearing that $30 Hollywood Blvd synthetic wig needs to be bound and gagged in Abercrombie & Fitch for the next decade! [The ultimate punishment : release the little shit once he's past his tweenage prime.]

Oh, but wait. I assume you guys know about The T that went down in Twitter-town?

Miss Bynes had a less-than cordial response. I’ll spare the vitriol and leave it As It Is.

Mmm-hrmm. I know, baby girl. I know. Oh, but just a little technical ish? Well aware you were “in character” and all that : but this don’t look nothin’ like no grin . . .

Diggin’ that low-rez, slightly glitched-out look, howevs. Very au courant, in fact!

Sheet. Just one last thing. Hon, umm . . .the make-up brush? Makes all the difference if you touch your skin. Pinky-swear and pierced cheeks, darlin’.

x0x0x

In my eternal quest to keep the “litter” in literature, it’s an honor and a privilege to be part of this event :

And yes, there’s a Facebook Page, for those of you who care about that type of thing.

[ MORE ] :

“Before the Internet, pilferage and privacy breaking were common for young gay men looking for answers and others like themselves in the words of books and magazines they were denied access to by price, age, or shame. The stories that accompany these texts are just as amusing as the text themselves. Five gay men talk about and read the text that was forbidden or they stole in their youth. The act of sneak reading is a common experience. The length one goes to do it is often comical. This will be a FREE, fun literary event that offers humor, connectedness, and an informal primer for seminal gay literary works. FREE validated parking is available in the 5 story parking structure.”

Presented by Steven Reigns and the City of West Hollywood as a preview to the One City One Pride Queer Arts Festival.

Hope to see you soon!

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Back When I Knew Who I Was 

i was content to spend my afternoons
wondering what co-dependent meant
not realizing that those lazy
humid daylight hours was better  
spent figuring out the physics
of dependency and codeine dreams

back when i knew who i was
i was much better than i ever thought i was
i could conjugate fuck like nobody’s business
       fuck me, fuck you, fuck it, fuck him, fuck her
       fuck them, fuck yourself, holy fuck, goddamnfuckit
i could shovel dead pets off the driveway
     that my aunt ran over on her way to choir practice
     and not shed a single tear
i could choke down every family fight about money,
every caning that would come for no reason after those fights,
every time we were forced to go to my rich relatives for dinner and we’d
find ourselves in the kitchen cooking and doing the dishes.

i believed i knew the meaning of alcohol
i believed i knew how to get out of every scrap
i believed i wasn’t gonna make 25
i believed in 18 molecules of carbon
21 molecules of hydrogen
3 oxygen and one fab nitrogen
all in a sweet mixture enough to make me
feel like jennifer beals in flashdance
twirling my ass
in front of the snotty audition,
praying for a stinking place in 
the dance-a-thon of actuality

back when my balls were the size of brazil
and my ego was the size of the antarctica
and my courage was the size of phlegm
i learned to trust few people
learned to want little
and to need even less
i learned to say “FUCK IT”

with such ease and venom
the most cynical rattlesnake
would have its underbelly turn emerald
in two seconds flat.

you could wake to find yourself in some sweet danger,
in some piss-flavored version of addiction
designed to make up for lost time,
lost ideals, lost lovers, lost causes, lost saviours
but -shit- these days,
all i find is myself back when i was
back in the conga line of perpetual desire
the territory of an incessant need
i crave my one habit of a good man
and i want to secede from
the grip of addiction philosophy,
from the colony of “i should’ve known better”

fuck that 12-step thing, i say,
i like to keep my options open
and i like having the option
to get absolutely fucked up
when i feel like it,
and not feel like i fucked up, dammit.

do things change that much?
can some stupid sign from the almighty
whip you right around?
maybe i should be looking for visions of jesus
in billboards of spaghetti sauce,
visions of buddha in men’s semen,
maybe i’ll be a much better person
if i knew who i was when i knew who i was
but who the fuck do i think i am?
i can’t even piss straight into the bowl,
can’t even tell my lover that i want to cook him
breakfast for the rest of my life,
can’t even cross against the light,
     (ooh, walk to the light, walk to the light….)
can’t pay my bills on time nor balance my checkbook
can’t dance, can’t mosh,
can’t get fucked up like i used to, not that i want to anyway
can’t take it like a man, whatever that means.

all i can is kiss who i was
back when i knew who i was
goodbye, one great big tongue smooch
and wish him a good journey
as he walks to the light
and falls off the edge of the earth
and into a peaceful hell.

i’ll meet up with him later.

— Justin Chin, from Bite Hard
     Manic D Press, 1997

from the anthology Signs of Life [ Manic D Press : 1994 ]
as well as Hell Soup [ Manic D : 1996 ], Sparrow’s collected works, self-described as “ranging from Hillbilly childhood to savage sissy.”

1:30 a.m. gazpacho in my room
red and green and tasting
like tucson like too much
parsley and cocktails on
the porch, mezcal, tastes
like tequila someone played
a trick on we bought it cheap
in mexico two bottles per gringo
over the border gazpacho and
burritos enough to feed the
neighborhood and i did because
the neighborhood was crashing
at my house showing up at sunset
to eat at my cinderblock table but
it was cool i could afford it could
afford to pay rent buy groceries buy
jugs of red wine to get them all drunk
bongs of pot to keep them all stoned and
gas tank full for road trips i
was making lots of cash and we were all
cool liberal fuck liberal we were
radical, anarchist cookbook beside
the moosewood cookbook on our bookshelf we
knew all about things like the
distribution of wealth and like i said i
was making tons of money and they weren’t
making any they were unemployed because
finding work is hard or they’re students of
in the emergency stage of the sexual abuse thing or
some other piece of laziness doctored up as
politics you know capitalism blah blah blah so
i was supporting an ever-changing band of lethargic
sunbathing potheads because i was making so much
money and yeah i was making it by leaving my body
so that strange men could fill it like a kind of
demon spirit but fuck it was my choice no gun
to my head no linda lovelace scene here and
i was really into communal living and we were all
such free spirits, crossing the country we were
nomads and artists and no one ever stopped
to think about how the one working class housemate
was whoring to support a gang of upper middle class
deadheads with trust fund safety nets and connecticut
childhoods, everyone was too busy processing their
isms to deal with non-issues like class
and besides,
you don’t think rich families have problems
you don’t think rich families have secret rapes and
alcoholic dads and feed their kids bad food with
sugar and preservatives i mean when you
get right down to it we’re all just humans,
all on the same path to destruction because
our mother earth is being raped (is it ok
if we borrow that term from your
oppression, it’s reall powerful) anyway,
the class trip is just divide and conquer,
blood money is just a redundant phrase and all work
is prostitution, right? and it’s just so cool
how none of them have hang-ups about
sex work they’re all real
open-minded real
revolutionary you know
the legal definition of pimp is
one who lives off the earnings of
a prostitute, one or five or
eight and i’d love to stay and
eat some of the stir fry i’ve been cooking
for y’all but i’ve got to go fuck
this guy so we can all get stoned and
go for smoothies tomorrow, save me
some rice, ok?

Michelle Tea

from the anthology Signs of Life [ Manic D Press : 1994 ]
as well as The Beautiful [ Manic D : 2003 ], a collection of Tea’s poetry

Anis Mojgani

by The True Blood Daily. In Australia.   [ CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE ]

[ Tumblr Blog : To Which The AU Paper Linked ]

Surreal? And yet not, actually.

Love and Super-Powers,