The Adonis Factor: In Demand & “On Demand”

Recently, I wrote about

a documentary about body issues among gay men*
in which I appear.

*[ I'll do us all a favor & skip my Queers-vs-Gays diatribe ; sound like a deal? ]

Well, as it turns out. . .

At Both The Right Time [ Your Leisure ]
& Price [ Free ] ,

an [ edited ] version is available for your on-line viewing

☆— Embed Source : Logo TV —☆

UNLIKE THAT ENGORGED NIP BLINKING A MESSAGE OF
“TOUCH ME/TWEAK ME/C’MON FREAK ME, BABY” IN [ WH ]ORSE CODE

The Following Info?  Bitch, Don’t Get It Twisted. . .

Said another way?

No, I’m not providing marked time codes as any sort of encouragement to
“just fast-forward to [my] section.”  If I were that much of an egomaniac,
I’d have—oh, I don’t know—assaulted you countless times via Facebook
messages [ HATE. THOSE! ] & event invites for The Adonis Factor‘s
4 pm time slot among the airwaves, this Sunday past. . .

On the contrary, the [ forthcoming ] digits have been designated
for those who might be skimming this text &—at the moment—have but a few minutes to spare.

IN SUCH AN INSTANCE, HOWEVER, THE IDEA
IS THAT YOU’LL RETURN WHEN CHANCE PRESENTS.

Not only am I grateful to have been chosen as an interviewee for this film with such timely subject matter,
but I also want to formally express my thanks to the scribes who’ve included me in reviews :
those in which I’m mentioned by name or [ somewhat ] reasonable facsimilie ,
as well as references to me by archetype, regardless of phrasing.

All the clichés about “the ugly side of being beautiful,” a director’s “unflinching gaze” [ homophone much? ] :
they’re all applicable—as are the strong reactions Hines’ investigation provokes.

[ one example ] :

“‘If you’re gonna be gay, you’re just gonna have to experience the wrath of the A crowd,’
one perfect 10 in search of an 11 attests.

Some of us are just too allergic to house music to hazard that . . .”

quips Dennis Harvey, in his review ”Get Thee To The Gym”
for the San Francisco Bay Guardian

He continues :

“Whoever said opposites attract clearly never went to the Folsom Street Fair, where every body type
runs in packs of two (or several). Sure, mom said looks aren’t everything. But was she a gay man?
It’s brutal out there. Combine a sophisticated, compartmentalized urban gay scene
like San Francisco’s own with the Internet’s heightened judging-book-by-cover —
no actual book reading implied — and you’ve got a recipe for looks obsessiveness
that can snare even the safely off-market.”

To which filmmaker Christopher Hines counters, via
interview with Edge New York :

“The point of the film is that we’re men. We’re not going to hold hands and sing ’Kumbaya’
and just all be nice to each other.”

Touché, Mssr. Hines. . . Touché!

That being stated, my Q & A [ conducted on a sweltering summer afternoon, sans the luxury
of air conditioning—hence the Yes-I-Know-I-Could-Moonlight-at-KFC, Honey /
Ain't-No-Need-To-Mention-My-Mug-Being-Beyond-"Dewy" look ]

is nestled within the

25:17 — 28:37

time frame.

If you can survive the commercials
[ we're all impatient, so don't even consider visiting that territory—
same as the unedited, 30 minute longer version with extras:
convenience is a privilege, not a 'right' ]

You’ll see

Behind-The-Scenes Footage from a Mother-Of-London Photo Shoot

featuring make-up artist Stacey Hummell, Design Assistant Marion Clinton
& The Mother Herselfness, Mildred Von Hildegard
* a.k.a. Miss Camera-Shy, Hair Dyed The Color Of Corroded Metal

— as well as —
the photography of
[ listed in order of appearance ] :

[ From The L.A. Weekly : Red Cross, Blue Liz McGrath Sculpture/Background ] : Kevin Scanlon

[ Red Not Dead : On Location, Filming of POX ] : Piper Ferguson

[ From Frontiers Newsmagazine : Green Hat, Turkey-Bone Bouquet by Adele Mildred ] : Amanda Brooks

» Sequence Break : My ‘Lower-Third’/Establishing Shot/Intro «

“I’m Nikki Fucking Narcotic. Do You Know How Many Friends I Have On MySpace?!”

[ It's Nikki.  Y'know, Nikki Narcotic . . . Yeah, Well: NIKKI KNOWS. You know?! ]

“I’m sick & fucking tired of all these haters!”

Oh, GL▲SS †33†H :

How you fill my shattered, charcoal-stained heart with glee.

There was a moment—a brief blip on history’s collective monitor, one might say—in which
the tiara-adorned Scene Queen had a significant role in the inexplicable phenomenon
referred to as “ CeWebrity .” [ Yes, I know it's heinous. Do I need to spell every— ]

[ CUT TO ] : a formulaic Wiki How ; How-To & Tribute Videos ; an on-line ‘zine & social
networking community ; hubs like Be-Scene.org & Scene Central, a virtual locale for
“ladies in waiting” [ no, but really ] & aspiring Scene Kings to—hell, I don’t know…
compare quiz scores while waiting to see if their applications for anointment
were accepted, I suppose.

Some of the O.G. S.Q.s [ yep, sure did ] parlayed their notoriety into lucrative businesses.
Others?  Well, I’m sure they could tell you.

As for the new breed?

For fuck’s sake, don’t call yourself a ” scene queen .” [ or king . . . or TS, etc. ]
EVER.

That’s. . .just. . . humiliating.

Whatever the case,

as with Cosmo, The Rules or any other ‘How-To’ Guide :
If you really want to

&     BE      A

My advice?
Bust your own fkn’ move.

Don’t get me wrong: there’s some wicked adorable kids among the lot,
fantastic explosions of color and creative expression .

[ Courtney Dior = one such example of Cuteness ]

hyper-hyphenate
[ photographer/poet/model/memoir author ] Kris Kidd

image credit : Kesler Tran

However, insofar as Nikki?

Short of the long: this  amalgamation fictitious character encapsulates the monstrous end of the spectrum,
in which rigid Ranking Systems and bratty, entitled behavior is the norm.

C H E C K   ±   I T  :

 

NARC by GL▲SS †33†H

[ Mmm-hrmm. Yeah, whatever Nikki. Bet your skank-ass extensions you'd troll efagz
to see if your asinine antics merit discussion, even. ]

But enough about Nikki—she’s so 2007, I’m surprised she isn’t donning a miniature top hat smothered
in Hello Kitty appliques while “modeling” a cupcake, middle finger of her other hand
extended in that universal gesture of bad breeding.

What I’m really here to talk about?
The Correctness Maximus who immortalized her :  GL▲SS †33†H

It’s like this:

What you need in your life is a physical copy of their EP
available through Black Bvs Records

Unless, of course, you’re like Andie Walsh & have more pressing issues…

N a m e l y , the dilemma of

prom queen by GL▲SS †33†H

[ Oh, & Y E S : Another Cyanide-Coated Piece of Perfection, It Is! ]

[ digital downloads available via Bandcamp ]

Also, out now
through Phantasma Disques :

GL▲SS †33†H / ℑ⊇≥◊≤⊆ℜ [of Mater Suspiria Vision ]

Split CDR

†

[ Full disclosure: I even went so far as to pre-order a copy, like the fan girl I'm not. . .usually ]

†

Additional resources for this band that’s been dominating my nano as of late :

[ on The 'Tubes ]

GL▲SS †33†H on Facebook

MySpazz

Last.fm

 

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Goth Done Right [ via Steven Meisel ]

“Here, its drama is spellbinding,
& its darkness is palpable…”

Gemma Ward † Caroline Trentini † Iselin Steiro † Lily Donaldson † Agyness Deyn † Sasha Pivovarova

A moment worth re-visiting, from the “In My Tribe” editorial
Fashion Rocks Magazine , 2007

[ VIEW FULL SIZE ]

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Tumblr Reciprocation : Life Beyond The “68-&-Owe-One” Mentality

Oh, sweetness. Is it too much to fathom, the thought of dipping into the population?
This business with the little people—you know, your “followers”. . .
Can you simply Not. Be. Bothered?

Excluding the rare exception [ namely, bashin' my dash with—well, content I don't want to encourage;
hence, the deliberate omission], I don’t understand why a person wouldn’t “follow back.” Granted,
I’m still a novice in the grand scheme of tumblrification, but I don’t know of a means by which
one can tell how many “followers” a person has. . .nor do I care to, quite frankly.

I mean, MySpace has gone down the shitter—it doesn’t even have a name anymore;
that’s how far removed it is from social relevance.

Didn’t the myopic Don’t-You-Know-How-Many-”Friends”-I-Have mindset accompany it?

[ Seriously? But SERIOUSLY ]

It’s rudimentary, my take on this sitch:
the primary function of tumblr’s dashboard [ or "feed" ] is that of an open dialogue, a continuous conversation
in which anyone from the 200 countries scattered around this curious planet we inhabit
has a unique opportunity [ so long as there's internet access, though that's a given—
I might as well be telling you it gets dark at night. . . ]

Because tumblr’s predominant means of communication is by way of a visual vocabulary, the opportunity
of which I speak is the ability for an individual to participate in the site’s ostensibly endless discussion
without the usual complications 6,800 different languages present.

Sure, music is a ‘universal language’; we’re familiar with the adage, most of us.

In the case of tumblr, however,
the ability to upload videos & mp3s further validates my premise/rationale, rather than dilutes it.

[ She's So Happening, via ThreeFrames.net ]

So : short of the long? Yeah, I follow back.
I also acknowledge that the sum of one’s “followers” does not deify.

[ Icarus much? I'd mutter Give Me A Break, but we have our day in the sun : each & every. . . ]

Oh, & when I attend a potluck dinner?

I don’t only eat the dish I brought.

#knowwhatimfawkinsayin’ ?

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GIF It To Me! [ Princess Hijab & Other Animated Awesomesaucery ]

 

As A Kid, I Often Said I Wished I Could Speak In Hieroglyphics

How rad it would be, I thought
[ though—since the timeline I'm referencing is circa rural Arkansas—
quite likely not verbatim, my choice of vernacular ]

If I could “talk with pictures”: fancy symbols—except
not carved in stone, but rather contained
in word bubbles,

like in a comic strip . . .

Y E A H .

A funny thing, time : cycles : that
symbol of the serpent swallowing its tail

All these years later, & where do I find myself?

Obsessed with animated .gifs, for fuck’s sake—&
yearning to communicate through means of a visual vocabulary.

I mean, let’s face it…does this gem excavated-from-the-uncredited-swag-on-imgur
not speak volumes?

Or how about this for a response?

[ Source: Sex With God : tumblr ]

& this flash-tastic action? Is it worth the proverbial thousand words?
Or does it have no value, since you’re such a worldly, highly-experienced Millennial?

[ So tough, the inured existence of a Trustafarian on tumblr, oui? ]

Hasty generalizations & snide jabs swept aside like unpaid internships, corporeal punishment,
or any scenario in which Unique, Special Beings aren’t coddled—even & especially
if [ HARMPH! ] “so-o-o bored.”

Sure : sometimes animated awesomesauce does get served with syllables & consonants…

For example: this little ditty by Seacrestcheadle, which—if Facefail permitted such forms of communication—
I would’ve plastered many moons ago on the ‘Wall’ of my pal Ugly Shyla ♥ [ because yeah, She 'Gets It ']

Alas! Seacrestcheadle isn’t why I’ve chosen to “get bloggy” this fine day
[ though worthy a post of his own, indeed! ]

Au contraire, I’ve intended to post about the following individual
for quite some time now, & finally: here we are—&
here the moment is…

If by chance you’re not familiar with the guerilla art of

Princess Hijab

Then please consider this a formal invitation to become acquainted, your
introduction by way of brief video clip [ courtesy : Babelgum ]

Admitted : at times the six-minute doc plays w-a-y-y-y Richter in the histrionics department
[ not to imply I don't—my guess is that producers urged Hijab to "ratchet up the drama"
for the cameras ] :  to “raise the stakes,” ”show the element of danger,” “provide some
conflict”…as if the visual assaults she orchestrates aren’t confrontational enough.

However, to be fair [ I mean : gauche much, Mary?  I'm only using their content! ]
I could be making excuses for the artist, when she’s portrayed exactly as she is.

 

O.K.!

Now that you have a bit of background info, I don’t feel as if I’m doing a dis-service by
sharing ‘only’ the digital art she creates.

Y’see, aside from recalcitrant acts of  Hijabization,
the Princess constructs some friggin’ amazing GIFs; must admit.

& since ultimately, that’s what I’m ‘on about’ today

C H E C K ±     T H E S E   :

╬  for a full-page GIF-tastic sensory overload, check out 8 BITZ PER PIxEL ╬

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